So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
Randomize
