She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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