they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
