And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
Randomize
