I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
Randomize
