sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Randomize
