it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
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