just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
