I think i peed on brittanys purse
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
