What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
someone owes me an orgasm
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
