when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Boobs speak an international language.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Randomize
