I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
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