Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
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