I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Randomize
