You work out of a Hotel?
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
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