i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Randomize
