So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Randomize
