so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
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