my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
