Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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