addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
and you said cock pushups were impossible
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Randomize
