Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
