p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
