i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
organizing the empties. That sober.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
Randomize
