He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
The convent might be a nice break from real life
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
