they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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