yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
Randomize