lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
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