im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
