Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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