Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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