You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
Randomize
