69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize