i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
