I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
Randomize
