Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize