you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
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