Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Randomize
