do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Buhtt sex?
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Randomize
