This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
Randomize
