Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
Randomize
