Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Randomize
