fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
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