when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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