I hate all girls vehemently.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
and you fell through a lawn chair
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
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