3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Randomize
