just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Randomize
