Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
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