I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
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