Eric just called. Says he's trapped in a cul de sac because the road disappeared. Wants me to tell him what street has the bushes that whisper sweet nothings into you ear and the wobbling purple pokemon. Oh, and a "bigger and better" penis is growing out of his belly button. He took shrooms by the way.
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
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