Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize
