New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
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