He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
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