Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
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