You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
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