she looked like the bat from fern gully.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Randomize
