You smell like stripper and shame
Slut skills are useful in every country.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Randomize
